Looking Up

This weekend was bitter sweet.

Tyson's sister lost her little baby boy, Johnny.

He spent almost his entire 7 1/2 months of life in the hospital. He survived through more than the doctors would have ever imagined showing his character built of strength, determination, and faith.

Johnny passed away on August 20th. His viewing was this past Friday followed by his funeral Saturday. I'm so glad to live so much closer to family where we could get up and drive down to show our love and support.

While tears fell down cheeks there were also smiles.

God's plan lets us know that families are forever. Macie and KJ will be able to raise their baby boy in Heaven one day. Death is not the end.

At the funeral they had 240 balloons, representing all 240 days that Baby Johnny was on this Earth. The balloons were let into the air and we watched in silence as each balloon disappeared into the sky.

We focused on looking up instead of looking down. Looking towards Heaven instead of underground. Feeling the Spirit confirm that death isn't the end, but the beginning. The ground only goes so far down, but the sky goes on forever.

This has been a lesson to me. Things happen, sometimes big things and sometimes little things, but whatever happens...God is there. His power is infinite and great. I don't think I understood the "Plan of Salvation" like I've understood it recently. (And there is much more for me to learn.) It always sounded simple, "Earth life", "gain a body", "learn lessons that couldn't have been learned in Heaven". But as you get older, trials get harder. Life gets harder. You start to realize what you're up against. I haven't experienced what Macie and KJ have experienced, far from it. But it did teach me a lesson on life. A lesson on trials, gratitude, love, faith, and strength.

And I know that a time will come when I'll have trials that are great and I'll need to re-learn all these lessons again...accept this time in a much harder way.

I continue to pray for Macie and KJ during this time of hardship...because even with the knowledge of the gospel, losing Johnny still isn't easy. Far from easy. But I pray that they will never give up on living life because life has shown so much misery. They don't need to take on "life" today or even tomorrow. But a day at a time. Because I know Johnny wouldn't want them to live life in fear of the future or sorrow from the past. I don't want that for them either. They deserve so much more.

Remember the balloons. Keep looking up.

Home Sweet Home

*Our New Family Room

After living in Grand Junction for a WHOLE two weeks....I took a trip to Utah.

I went back and forth a million times "Maybe I shouldn't go." "It'll be OK, just go."

Then one morning I just decided, "I'M GOING".

I packed the kids, and left.

I was able to visit some old friends at a wedding reception, play with family, visit a farm, go to a water park, go to IKEA, see some houses at Parade of Homes, swim, and just have a great time.

But now we're back in Grand Junction...and its nice to be back home. I do love it here.

Happy Sunday

While going through some old files, we ran across this video taken a year ago.

Happy Sunday Everyone!

Utah Pictures

Letters

Dear Missouri,

I'm sorry to say that I don't miss you all that much. I do miss Costco and Dagg Park's toddler swimming pool....but overall I like Colorado better. I'm sorry. Farewell.

Dear Friends in Missouri,

I do miss you. I admit that I stink at making new friends.

Dear Colorado,

I'm in love. Or maybe its just infatuation. I should give you more than 1 week before I call it "love". But I'm infatuated with the fact that it only takes 10 minutes to get anywhere I want to go and I never have to get on a freeway to get there. I'm infatuated with the fact that even "downtown" isn't a crazy, busy place....but rather nice and relaxed. I'm infatuated with places like Cafe Rio and Ross that reside with you and not within Missouri. I'm infatuated with the fact that it is only a four hour drive to visit my family and I don't have to think about the horrendous "mom and two small children plane ride" experience. Overall, Colorado...you rock.

Dear House in Colorado,

You'd think I'd hate you more than I do. But really I don't hate you at all. In fact, I really like you. Sure our house in Missouri was twice as big, had three bedrooms instead of two, had a large kitchen...with counter space, a pantry, dishwasher, and disposal, a fenced off back yard, non-coin operated laundry, and cost half as much rent. Hmm. But our furniture fits the space better so it looks and feels like a home. I don't have to worry about going up and down stairs...or worry about Leila trying to go up and down stairs. Less space means less maintenance and cleaning.

Hmm....I'm a little afraid that over time this co-operated laundry and small kitchen with no counter space, dishwasher, and disposal might get to me. But for now, thanks for turning me into a more efficient person.

Dear Children,

Thank you for the times when you are obedient and good, kind to one another, and give hugs and kisses. I love you.

Please work on those times when you disobey, aren't nice to one another, and make the house much harder to keep clean. I still love you.

Dear Husband,

After rocking your boards tests and had some free time before starting rotations, thank you for spending your free time getting the house together, hanging pictures, and dealing with my and the kid's craziness.

I realize that you are busy with rotations now....but there are a few odds and ends around the house that still need your love and attention. But no rush. Just keep being awesome.

Dear Self,

Get back to that long "to do" list of yours.

Leila's First Birthday

Can't believe my little Leila is one.

With Tyson doing boards studying, we originally planned to postpone the celebration. Then I went to Costco and found myself tempted by the red velvet cake.

So, we decided to get some cake and sing happy birthday.

She tried to blow. Then she tried to touch. Then we blew it out. And she ate.
Oh man, that girl knows how to devour cake. That piece was gone in less than a minute.
She was a happy little girl.
Scratch that. Make it a VERY happy little girl. (This is what she did when I told her to smile for the camera.)

A little about Leila:

• She's SUPER active. She walks, runs, climbs, jumps on the bed, dances, etc. She's a pro....a pro that often finds herself falling and crying and then trying again.
• Leila loves independence. She doesn't like help from anyone, she'd rather do it herself.
• She doesn't say much, but does babble and yell a good amount. She has said, "mom", "dad", "more", "no", "llama", and "hi". But when she's learning a new word, for a LONG time she tends to whisper the word quietly until she feels more confident, then she'll say it all the time. She's recently started whispering "woof" and "quack".
• While she's learning a few animal noises, she does do a rhinoceros sound. Which according to one of her favorite books goes "snort and snuff". She'll breath deeply in and out through her nose.
• She's got several teeth. She started with the two front bottom teeth. Then she got her canine teeth on top, then a whole bunch started to come out a little bit ago. We call her a "hobo" cause her teeth are kind of all over the place and then she'll give a big old smile to us.
• She loves baths. She loves to dunk her head under the faucet. She also loves to play with the toys and line them up on top of the baths edge. She also loves to stand up in the tub, and once fell where she bit all the way through her tongue. Ouch.
• She'd LIVE outside if we let her. She'll often grab her shoes and try to put them on herself or give them to me to put on. Then she'll pound on the door to get out.
• She loves giving hugs and kisses. She'll always give mom kisses. She'll always give Eden "hug attacks" if Eden's lying on the floor. And she'll give daddy a kiss....usually only AFTER she's given mom a kiss first.
• Leila loves being naked. All the time. She always tries to run away during diaper changes and while getting dressed. She puts up quite a fight.
• She is about 75th percentile in weight (a little over 22 lbs) and in the 90th percentile height.
• She loves waving and saying "hi" to strangers. Mostly guys, not as much girls.
• She's definitely got a sense of humor. She loves to do things she's not supposed to do. She'll start doing it, wait for you to notice that she's doing it, give a huge smile, and keep on doing it. She also loves when Eden fake laughs and she'll do a fake laugh back.
• She loves books. By far, her favorite books are by Sandra Boynton. She'll carry them around everywhere, bring them to you to read and she'll sit on your lap, or you'll just catch her looking through the books herself.

Gotta Let Go

Last night, I only read a few verses of scripture before bed.

After the story of the 2,000 stripling warriors the battle continues. Soon there are so many people inside the prison that the people realize that they need to get rid of the prisoners or else they will grow too strong.

These few verses helped me.

Lately I've been hearing about people's problems and I've been putting that sadness and worry and trouble onto my shoulders...even if it doesn't help them. I couldn't help myself. I almost felt guilty for feeling happy when I knew others weren't happy.

Then there's my family.

Additional stress continues as I try to make things perfect at home. Make sure Eden and Leila are "perfect" children. Be the "best wife in the universe" for Tyson while he's busy studying for boards. Keep the house in "perfect" order.

And quite honestly, the more I TRIED, the worse things have become.

I'm still trying to fix up the mix up.

The house is a disaster and the kids are moody (cause I've been moody) and then Tyson ends up stressed and moody...and the downward spiral continues.

But I know that if I get rid of the unnecessary stress in my life (get rid of people in my prison) then things will be better.

Keep it simple.

There truly is a power that lies within simplicity.

I'm not saying that I'm not gonna start caring about other people, my children, and my husband. Definitely not the case. But I want to only take on burdens that I can do something about. Help those I'm able to help. Pray for those I can't help. Work on being happy and doing what I can. If I don't get EVERYTHING done, don't stress...tomorrow's another day.

Speaking of keeping it simple and getting rid of the unnecessary...

I need to spend less time on the internet. Period.

So, on that note, FAREWELL.

(I'll still blog on occasion, I'm not leaving that...just gonna pay more attention to my children right now.)